Just what really happens?
Its been noticeable, my absence in blogging that is. Long time ago I write all the things that comes up in my mind.. Such petty things that brought joy, happiness, sadness and all the emotions that I felt and pretended I felt. Writing I guess will never depart me.
I guess I F$#ked up my life right now. Seems everything I've been doing had never been why I'd dreamed a long time ago when I still daydream and look at the skies and trying to figure out where my life is leading me. My life has been a result of simultaneous and sequential mistakes that I made, opportunities I lost and chances I missed . No blaming but on me. I was glad I'm in a job I've been wanting for so long yet I still don't give my everything into it. I sometimes lose interest and even cuddled up during the entire development of any project.
Ive been affected by things that continue to haunt me even in the twilight of my sleep. Long time ago I thought being in a relationship would boost me up and give the kick that I;ve been looking but after a couple of years or a lot of months, seems its like the other way around. Maybe you would call me a dramatic fool, but it's true. I don't know where I went wrong. Its just that maybe not all the time, you will get what you have been wanting.
Being in a relationship is really a rollercoaster ride so to speak. There are curves, dives, sudden turns and even 360 degrees flips that could make the relationship stormy but that what makes it flavorful. I thought being liberated and entering in a non-committal relationship would be fun, exciting and adventurous which were all true but it seems it will always be like that.. You will just wait for any of you to throw in the towels and say "I'ts been fun, but I need to go".
In days to come, my life would be depending on the situations to come. I don't know what will happen but for sure these coming moments will greatly define another bookmark in my written life.. Its time to make decisions, decisions that will give you the peace of mind, decisions that will give you contentment and security, decisions that will change the course of your life, decisions that matter....
